Four people you will meet in life...

Life is the process of finding love;
every person will need to find four people in their life.

First person is yourself,
Second person is the one you love most,
Third person is the one who love you most,
And the fourth is the one you spend the rest of your life with.

In life, you will usually first meet with the one you love most,
and learn how love feels.
Because you know how love feels,
so you can find the person who loves you most.
When you have experienced the feeling of loving others and being loved,
you will then know what it is you need most.
Then you will find the person who is most suitable for you,
to be able to spend the rest of your life with.

Sadly,
in real life,
these three people are usually not the same person.

The one you love most doesn't love you.
The one who love you most is never the one you love most.
And the one you spend your life with,
is never the one you love most or the one who love you most.
He or she is just the person who happens to be
at the right place at the right time.
Which person are you in other people's life?

No person will purposely have a change of heart.
At the point in time when he loves you, he really loves you.
But when he doesn't love you anymore, he really doesn't love you anymore. When he loves you, he can't pretend that he doesn't.

Same goes, when he loves you no more,
there's no way he can pretend he loves you.
When a person doesn't love you and wants to leave you.
You must ask yourself if you still love him,
If you also don't love him anymore,
do not keep him just to save your pride.
If you still love him, you should wish him happiness,
and hope that he will be with the one he loves most,
not stop him from it.

If you stop him from finding true happiness with the one he loves,
it shows you already don't love him,
And if you don't love him,
what rights do you have to blame him for a change of heart?

Love is not possessive.

If you like the moon, you can't just take it down and put it in your basin,
But the moonlight still shines upon you.
In other words, when you love a person, you can use another method of possessing the person.

Let him become a permanent memory in you life.
If you really love a person, you must love him for what he is.
Love him for his good points, and the bad.
You can't wish for him to become like what you will like him to be just because you love him.
If he can't change to become what you like him to be,
you don't love him anymore.
When you really love a person,
you cannot find a reason why you love him.
You only know that no matter when and where,
good mood or bad mood,
you will wish to have this person be with you.

Real love is when two people can go through the toughest problems
without asking for promises or listing criterias.
In a relationship, you have to put in effort and give in at times,
not always be on the receiving end.
Being away from each other is a type of test.
If the relationship isn't strong, then you can only admit defeat.

Real love will never become hate.

When two people are in love,they love to ask each other to swear, to make promises.
Why do they ask each other to swear and promise?
Because they don't trust each other, they don't trust their lover.
These swear and promises are useless;
Till the sky falls, till the ocean dry, my love for you will never change!
We all know that the sky will never fall; the ocean will never dry,
Even if it does happen, are we still alive by then?

Be careful when making promises;
don't make promises that you cannot keep.
Swear by things that can never happen,
because it can never happen, so no harm just saying it casually.

In a relationship, what you say is one thing, but what you do is another;
The one saying, doesn't believe; the one listening, also doesn't believe.
Which person have you found so far?
In the world so big, which person have you found?
And who has found you?

~I loved you baby. I loved you the most. Sadly, I presume you were not meant for me. I wished we could be together during our good and bad times. I wished we could have worked out...

Why? Why? Why?

Finally you asked me what was this blog address. Finally, I have more guts to talk to you and ask you. You claimed you missed me. You claimed you still love me. But I kept asking myself if you do, then why do you hurt me with the things you did?

I've always trusted you. I've always believed in you. No matter how much I tried forget about you, you still appear in my dreams making them into nightmares. You'll message me without replying my replies.

Why do you make me love you so much but you make me cry all these times? Why do I even love you at the first place? Why did I treasure you so much but you did not treasure what you have? What wrong have I done to deserve all these?

10 Things I Hate About You.

I hate the way you talk to me,

and the way you cut your hair.

I hate the way you drive my car.

I hate it when you stare.

I hate your big dumb combat boots,

and the way you read my mind.

I hate you so much it makes me sick;

it even makes me rhyme.

I hate it,

I hate the way you're always right.

I hate it when you lie.

I hate it when you make me laugh,

even worse when you make me cry.

I hate it that you're not around,

and the fact that you didn't call.

But mostly I hate the way I don't hate you.

Not even close, not even a little bit, not even at all.

Aftermath

So... Yesterday u called. Surprisingly you tried finding me. Surprised I'm not there to send you off? Haha. Not trying to be mean you know but I have a life too. I can't possibly dwell on you and pin my hopes on you.

I forgive you for everthing you've done to me and I'm sure you know what are they. I hoped you'd forgive me for me and my mistakes too.

I did try baby. I did but you blew me off. The break ups were because of you. I know I'm not perfect and I did make mistakes. I did try to change and I did my best. So sorry it did not work out between us.

Thanks to you my heart is closed. I may be single and dating but in my heart guys are the same. Thank you for showing me how it was like to fall in love, be in love, be "loved", loving someone so dearly and of course falling out of love.

It seemed impossible to be the soft and warm person I used to be towards you.

Maaf zahir batin.

Dilemma

"Hey hi nad,jus wana say gd bye b4 i fly to taiwan ya.hw r u btw?is everyting ok?takecare of urself aite..i still care even if i dun c u here." 20 Oct 05 10:27am

Baby, I woke up early today. Then receive your message. I thought I was dreaming to receive this message. But I wasn't. I was in reality. Baby, I got to apologise. But I dun believe what you said. You said you care but why didn't you reply me or accept my calls?

I got a confession to make. Like you, I've also changed. You went back to your old wonderful life and got worst. This time around, I also changed my ways. Like you, I took a step more. This is the change which we live in now. I doubt you'd ever going to know what is difference in me. Coz you never know me well enough.

You made me in a dilemma. My heart raced upon ur msg. It was not suppose to happen this way. I must stop thinking of you. I will right after you leave for Taiwan.

Family Ties

I picked up the courage to remind you that it is your bestfriend's birthday. Sadly, you didn't reply.

Baby, I met with Cik Leha and her first and last daughters in bus no 21. I was with Faizah. I was going home accompanying her to buy her Baju Raya. I salam her as per normal. However, I was stunned when I see her. I was speechless. But I still hold my stirred emotions and talk to her as per normal. I even salam her as I was going down the bus. I missed the things I used to do. I missed the times we were together. Things aren't the same now. It's been 2 nights that I sleep. I kept thinking of you. The loneliness inside is killing me. But there's no one who can heal me but you. If only you would drop me a message or give me a call. You told me to take care but I can't my dear. No one is taking care of my heart. No one is making me smile like you do.

Baby, I read my old journals with you. Do you remember the things we went through last time? Those were the things we went through together that bond us together. Those were the things that make us fall in love and learn how to adapt to one another. I wish I could turn back time. Things were so fine in those days. I wished you would not change... I knew I loved you

Soccer Camp

Baby, I'll be away for the weekends again. Still hoping you would drop by to read this blog. Even though it's boring but I tried to make it as interesting as possible. Time had not been on my side. Every day I prayed that you would be fine despite me appearing strong in front of my friends. Please take care. I see you the next time I see you my dear.